Glass Half Empty
by MementoMoriZx
Summary: 3 years after Voldemort's fall, Hermione isn't happy with her place in life. She turns to an unusual source in the hope of being understood. However, danger is once again lurking in the wizarding world, waiting for the perfect opportunity to cause destruction and chaos. AU from epilogue and Snape lives, but not free. T for language and some future themes.
1. Chapter 1

Glass Half Empty

Chapter One

_Looks like he isn't home tonight. Again._

An exasperated sigh left the witch's lips as she glanced out of window and into the rain. The summer showers had been frequent this year and she wanted to believe that they were the reason for her fiancés absence, but she knew better.

She glanced up at the Burrow, which seemed lifeless. He couldn't be there, otherwise it'd be alive with activity and the shouting of one Molly Weasley would be heard even through a closed window a good hundred yards away. No, he hadn't returned because he knew he didn't have to. When he became the new seeker for the Chudley Cannons, fame and fortune was not expected. However after catching the snitch in his second match and eventually leading the Cannons to victory in the League Cup, Ron's popularity soared and Hermione's importance in his life slowly diminished. He was a highly demanded celebrity and spent his time surrounded by others of similar popularity.

She was still here, of course. She always would be. She loved him. But she knew about the other girls, and it did tear her apart. She thought it was unfair; it shouldn't have ended like this. Three years after Voldemort was defeated and she felt as miserable as ever. The honeymoon period was over, they settled in his family's back yard and little else has changed for her. Going to work at the Ministry in a secretarial role in the Department of International Magical Cooperation, a job she despised, then returning home where she wasn't needed.

As the hot prickling at the corners of her eyes began, she vanished the meal she had prepared, knowing it would be no good in the morning. She glanced above the fireplace to the clock, but her eyes glued to the pictures underneath. One of her and Ron, shortly after the war ended, outside the Gryffindor common room. Another of the 'golden trio' as they were so often called, during their second year at Hogwarts. One of Teddy, George, herself, Ron, Harry and Ginny. They had all moved away. Everyone else was happy.

Well, except one.

At his initial trial it was made quite clear that despite his good intentions, a death eater is a death eater, and the killing of one of the greatest wizards of all time was too much to overlook. He was spared the kiss, but will spend the remainder of his life in Azkaban, despite the protests of those who knew his true intentions. There are still appeals, something she involved herself in greatly, to get his sentence reduced or implore for his freedom. But as he refuses to attend such trials, little consideration is given. In her opinion he truly does deserve freedom, however he knows that nothing lies for him on the other side of the bars. Many still view him as a traitorous coward and ruthless murderer, with many thanks going to Rita Skeeter and her fantastically false recollections of events that was bound in leather and became one of the fastest selling books in the wizarding world.

He refused visitors and she knew he wished he had been left to bleed to death. Dying is freedom from the suffering of the living. She knew this, as she thought about it herself. She associated more with someone she never thought she would, and she wished she could speak to him, just to hear from someone else who was suffering. Surely there had to be a way to see Snape without his refusal. She would have to look into it.

She doused the fire, knowing it was no use to stay up much longer. Climbing up the stairs, she couldn't help thinking that it had only been three years, and yet things had changed so much. During the war she was almost certain she wouldn't make it out of the other end, but now she had it was so unwelcome. These thoughts made her feel remorseful. Knowing that so many had given their lives, close friends and iconic figures to her as a teenager, but she still wasn't thankful. She was stuck in a rut, and did not have the energy or will to force herself out of it.

As she entered their bedroom, Crookshanks hardly acknowledged her presence as he stayed curled up on the bed. Indeed, this ginger certainly had more use of the bed than the other ginger who may occasionally occupy it. The prickling started again, along with a tightening of her throat. This time she didn't attempt to push it away, letting the tears fall.

It was selfish pity. She knew it. Without bothering to change, she climbed into her bed and prepared herself for the next few tearful, difficult hours.

_'Absence and death are the same - only that in death there is no suffering'._

CLANG!

Jolting up from the bed, Hermione Granger grabbed for the wand under her bed. However after seeing the light peep through the curtains and hearing a very poorly chosen swear from a voice downstairs, she rolled her eyes and plopped back down onto her pillow. The night before was a fairly regular occurrence regarding the deterioration of her emotional state, but in the morning she was always competent enough at covering her feelings, and is ready to face another day. But surely five more minutes in the comfort of her duvet wouldn't hurt.

"Hermione! Can you heat this up for me?" _No, learn to cook you stupid oaf._ Despite her body's protests, she climbed out of bed. Five minutes certainly would hurt in this situation. Leaving him to cook for himself would almost certainly lead to some part of the kitchen being completely decimated. Not bothering to change into a fresh set of clothes (he was unlikely to noticed their rumpled state), she headed down the stairs, a feeling of despair washing over her as she caught sight of him. Quite clearly hung over with muddy trousers and messy hair, he had obviously had a raucous night, which he will now describe with great detail and emphasis on how _awesome_ it was (omitting, of course, some detail). He had also somehow managed to knock all of the pans and bowls onto the floor, some reaching a commendable distance being halfway across the living room.

"Oh my god Hermione, you ain't gonna believe the night I've had! We went all over muggle London getting absolutely wasted! The nightclubs were packed and we just kept going around. Seamus got so wasted he chundered in this girls lap, it was funny as fuck! Then we stayed in Kokos for a good few hours where he passed out, but we just kept on partying! It was _awesome_!" Hermione listened and nodded, giving the occasional smile when he laughed as she collected the pans and put them back in the cupboard. Her eyes fell onto what he had chosen for his breakfast, interrupting him in mid-sentence.

"Spicy chicken for breakfast? Really?"

"Yeah, why not? Only had a kebab at about 2 while Seamus was leaning over a drain, been ages since I ate!"

"Yes, but it isn't really a breakfast food, and you really should be watching what you eat and drink a little more, this excessive alcohol consumption and take-away food diet isn't healthy for you" He gave her a confused look, which in his current state made him look like a four year old playing in a park being suddenly challenged with a difficult arithmancy equation.

"What's a take-away?"

"Oh, it's the sort of food you get from those seedy little kebab shops when you go out, it usually has really poor quality ingredients and tends to be very fatty"

"Yeah, but it does taste nice! Besides, I'll be able to burn most of the fat off at training later today! I'm gonna take a shower while you make that, then I'll eat and have a nap, can't be going to training still pissed!" Without waiting for a response, he trudged up the stairs, and Hermione caught a waft of the pungent scent he'd brought home with him; a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex. She wished he had never discovered muggle leisure, unfortunately on turning 18, Seamus was excited to go out to overcrowded nightclubs and get drunk to the point of amnesia, a common muggle tradition in young men and women. As she fried the contents of the muggle food packet (Ron was rapidly getting comfortable with many muggle amenities and products), Molly Weasley entered through the kitchen door, hands full with Ron's quidditch uniform. Molly was incredibly proud of her son's achievements, and found great pleasure in washing his clothes, managing his money, organising any correspondence… anything that she could really in order to help her son. Her weary face did show signs of sadness: all of her children had fled the nest now, and she clung as tightly as possible to those she could, Ginny appearing almost every day and having her son and future daughter in law living in a newly built house nearby.

Molly plopped the uniform on the kitchen table and sniffed. "Oh dearie, that smells delightful! Is Ron home?" Her expression betrayed her words, and Hermione knew it was likely that Molly agreed with her on the rules of appropriate meal foods.

"He's just in the shower, he went out with Seamus, Dean and some of the quidditch guys last night in London"

"Oh no, he didn't apparate back did he?!"

"I believe so". It wasn't unknown to those who knew Ron that his apparition skills were not great. Even when sober he occasionally splinched a toenail. Apparating while drunk was quite dangerous, even for very competent wizards. It wasn't unusual for small articles to appear in the Daily Prophet about witches and wizards of all ages who underestimated their lack of clarity while inebriated, and had been found dead (or sometimes, unfortunately alive) with severe injuries, amputations of arms legs and even heads. But as of yet no severe casualties had occurred with Ron or any of his friends, but this of course would not stop Molly from worrying.

"I really must talk to him about these things; he needs to stay in tip-top shape! He has weeks of interviews coming up, with training too for the League Cup in October, he really ought to be more careful! I really wish Harry would go out with him, just to make sure that he stays safe. It's not that I don't trust Dean and Seamus, but Harry is so much more level-headed".

"Indeed. Harry just isn't fond of the party atmosphere, he'd much prefer to stay at home with Ginny. He's much warier of the publicity than Ron and is trying to keep a much lower profile. They both came yesterday but I was at work, how are they?" They hadn't been as close as they used to be. Hermione had closed herself off from others with the current situation, because she didn't want them to be too concerned. She had taken to burying herself in work and rarely attended the social activities that were organised.

"Oh, they're well as always. Harry said he would visit you at work today. He has desk duties for the next couple of weeks; he's just finished training a new set of aurors, so he's taking a back seat for a while".

"Oh that'll be nice to see him!" The chicken was now ready and she emptied it into a bowl, cleaning and putting away the pans used with a flick of her wand. With no Ron in sight as of yet, she knew she had to head to work. "I really have to go, but Ron shouldn't be long. Hopefully I'll see you later today" Looking out of the window and deciding against a coat, Hermione grabbed her umbrella and satchel.

"Oh of course, you should come over for supper! When Ron has finished training he could tell us all about how he's preparing the team!" At hearing the offer, Hermione groaned within. _Oh that will be fun._

"That sounds delightful." With that she exited, and headed to the apparition point. It was decided that even after the war, keeping wards up really was the best thing.

_Well today should be a really enjoyable day, as usual. _Then Hermione recalled her thoughts from the night before and realised today could hold some hope. She was well ahead of work, and could spend a few hours formulating a plan to visit Severus Snape. Maybe if she couldn't find a way to force a visit, she could persuade him to let her see him. It seemed a long shot, but it was something to aim for.

Having now snapped out of the deep despair from the night before, she realised some may see her as insane for being so keen to see him. Even Harry, who had fought for his freedom and was very thankful for his help saw little use in trying to contact him; he was still grouchy Snape to most. But she knew he was the only one who would understand, who could empathise with the emptiness and hopelessness she was feeling.

There had to be a way, she thought as she reached the end of the wards. She sighed and a rare, genuine, flicker of a smile came across her face. It felt nice just having something to look forward to. Turning on the spot, she apparated, leaving that smile behind.

_All stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you._

A/N: Thank you for taking the time to read J I hope you enjoyed it, first chapters are always difficult to write as you have to fit in the very basics of what is occurring, especially in this case with so much changing from the end of the war with Voldemort. I have a fairly good idea of where the story is headed, and so my updates should be somewhat regular and imagination permitting significantly longer. I am always appreciative of feedback and so any note would be much appreciated. If there is a high demand for something or a particular line of thought dominates my mind, the storyline could change course significantly, so if you have anything you think would be awesome, let me know. Thank you!

P.S. Quotes from songs and people are something I like to fit into writing, as you will quickly gather. I find they help to set the mood.


	2. Chapter 2

Having her office right at the very top of the ministry was quiet laborious. She didn't mean to be rude, but making polite conversation with all those people on the way was just too much effort. Particularly considering that everyone in the wizarding world knew who she was. Even more annoying was that most of the questions she was bombarded with weren't concern for herself, but Ron. 'How is he doing in training? Has he been working hard? Does he think that they will win?' _How the hell should I know? _She knew she'd become quite bitter with the disappointment she faced on a daily basis, but just pushed that aside and smiled, answering the questions politely.

Eventually getting to her office, which she preferred to call a cupboard, she was relieved to see her in-tray with only a few documents. It may be small, but at least she had it to herself, that way she could formulate her plan to meet with Snape. First however, she'd have to tackle the few items in her in-tray. Sitting down in her chair, the photo of her and Ron that rests on her desk caught her eye. Contempt returning, she placed the picture face down on her desk and began her work.

The first document was _yet another_ request from the Serbian kúzlo vláda (Magic Government) to review the appeal of five dangerous Serbians who killed a British family using the unforgivables. It had only been two months since the last appeal which had resulted in a resounding no, and as appeals can only be made every six months, the government would have another four months to wait before anything else could be done. Hermione knew this wouldn't stop their letters however. The Serbian magical community itself was known for being quite dark and had poor relations with most other countries. She wrote a polite response stating nothing could be done, and sent it off.

The next item was from the statistics office, saying they needed Hermione to send letters to other statistic offices in selective list of countries, requesting to know how many non lethal dark items had been confiscated in the past month. This had to be done to see how many others were confiscating, and to see if there were any further precautions that needed to be taken in the handling of them. In first reading the task Hermione could already see two problems with this task. First, the other governments are not going to be very willing to release such information, as it is of a confidential and important nature. Secondly, 'non lethal dark items' was far too broad of a term to provide sufficient and accurate data. Usually, she would challenge something like this, but she wanted to finish as quick as possible if she wanted to go through with her plan, especially with Harry visiting, which will take up a few hours. So instead she sent the requests, deciding that she'd deal with the incompetent responses when it came to it.

Her next job was sent by Harry himself and so she felt more obliged to complete it properly. The newly trained Aurors (of which Luna Lovegood was one of them) needed assigning to posts around the globe in pairs as their final stage of training; to be competent and apply 'constant vigilance' in situations where necessary. She knew this would be a difficult task for them, and so sent them to countries where their presence would be more welcome. Countries like Serbia of course refused to accept such exchanges which was just as well. Hermione sent them to known allies, Australia, Spain, Italy, Slovakia and sent Luna and her partner Dmitri to France, knowing Luna will be happy to see Fleur and Bill there.

After sending those final pieces of, she glanced at the clock. It was half eleven and Harry would be here at around one, as he always was whenever he came by. She knew after lunch she would have more work to do, and so it gave her a good hour and a half to think of a way to see Snape.

She looked through some of the legislation in the Law department but couldn't find anything promising. The only way to force him to accept a visit would be if he had commited a crime he hadn't been convicted for – and even if she thought she could think of one, she wasn't going to go to such an extent to see him. She'd have to find a way to coerce him into accepting.

On this topic, very little entered her mind. She didn't want to irritate him, which is what would definitely happen if she gave her true intentions for visiting. She thought about enquiring about his awareness of the book Rita Skeeter had written, to see if he would like to defend himself or try to get the book off shelves, but she thought that if he wouldn't support his own appeals he would be unlikely to be engaged in anything of that sort. Thinking of a way to communicate with him was difficult.

Another document materialised in her in-tray, but she continued to ponder. Maybe he could be coerced in the form of a potion question? A pick of his brain may engage him, making him see he was still valued by some? She could write to him asking about a particular potion, asking if she could meet with him to discuss it; but it would have to be a very difficult one. His interest might come from wanting to know why she is making the potion. It seemed like a long shot, but it would be worth a try.

It wasn't like she was being completely deceitful. If she does get to the point of visiting him, she will discuss it with him. She always has been interested in a career in potions, maybe starting her own apothecary, but the time never seems appropriate. Besides, even though she hated this job, it was secure and well paying. As a member of the golden trio, she was seen with a higher regard than she personally felt she deserved. She doubted she would ever want for money, but that did not make her happy.

She decided to compose the letter to him at some point in the future. She'd have to pass multiple security checks first anyway; Snape will have received many threatening and cursed letters, so it may be sometime before it reaches him. She'd just have to hold on.

Halfway through preparing the stay of the American ambassador for wizarding rights, Hermione heard a firm knock on her door. It was five to one – Harry had arrived at the expected time.

"Come in" she called, putting her quill away. Glancing up, she noticed his clean, smart appearance. As head auror, he had to put on a great show, even while fighting evil. The brown silk shirt complemented the beige suit, but Hermione thought that the black shoes were a little mismatched, as brown ones would have perfected the look. He offered a closed mouth smile as he sat in the chair opposite her desk. For a few moments, not a word was said. The two really had grown apart, both of them had been busy with their jobs, Harry in particular as his was so demanding. His contact with Ron had become irregular too, but the two did manage to see each other at least a few times a week. He gave her another small smile, and she returned it.

"How have you been?" he asked. Of course she wouldn't tell him how she had truly been, she didn't feel they were close enough anymore for such deep conversation, along with such a heavy schedule she knew Harry didn't need additional stress. Protecting Britain from dark wizards and crime was enough.

"I've been good. Work has been steady and enjoyable, it's been nice to live so close to Molly and Arthur, especially with Ron gone so much. It's always nice to have someone nearby, even if they a little overprotective of you". The over protectiveness wasn't a lie of course, Molly and even Arthur to an extent were overtly caring towards her and Ron. She felt sometimes that with their house being so close to the burrow, Molly and Arthur felt obligated to look after them as if they lived with them. She was grateful of course, but sometimes it was nice to have a little independence.

"Ah, yes. Arthur comes round our offices sometimes and always mentions you guys. They just want to make sure you're both looking after yourselves, especially with Ron's schedule".

"I know, it can be demanding sometimes. How about you?"

"Well, it has been pretty hectic. Just finished training the new aurors, and we've had a few more retirements and quits than we were expecting, so we think we're going to have to recruit again pretty soon. Also had a string of imperius curses throughout Yorkshire that we're tracking without much luck. The cursed have been assaulting muggle-borns, so we think it could be linked to some radicals that were around under Pius Thicknesse. Other than that it's been pretty standard".

"Well at least you're getting some leads. I read quite a bit about that in the Prophet. Quite a tragedy. How is Ginny?" Hermione had more contact with Ginny than she did Harry, but hadn't seen her in a few weeks.

"She's okay, she got malaria after tracing a link to an ex-death eater in Sudan, but she's recovered pretty quickly". Hermione was shocked; she hadn't heard anything about it.

"Oh gosh, I didn't know! Why has no one told me?" Truthfully it was quite hurtful, obviously they had grown apart but she still cared about Ginny, all of them, of course.

"Well, you probably would've heard it from Molly, but we told her that she'd had her trip to Sudan extended rather than tell her she was sick. It wasn't good to lie but we didn't want to cause her any upset, something like that will probably shake her pretty badly. We visited yesterday and she was so relieved to see Ginny safely home, so no harm has really been done." Obviously Harry wouldn't see it that way. Hermione was quite hurt about it, she hated being kept in the dark.

"But actually I came here to talk to you about Ron" Harry interrupted her thoughts. She felt a little startled, not aware he'd come with a motive. _Of course he wasn't here just to see how you were, _she thought.

"Oh, what about him?" She tried to disguise any hints that Ron's behaviour was spiralling out of control, wanting to see what Harry was referring to exactly first".

"Well, I heard that he'd got in a little bother with the muggle authorities."

"What? This is the first I've heard of it!" Once again she felt she was being left in the dark, but wasn't surprised at the revelation. His behaviour when he went out into muggle life was often quite inappropriate.

"Something about disorderly conduct, happened last month apparently. I didn't really want to cause you any bother or stress your relationship with Ron, so I informed Molly first, and she said she will speak to Ron first" Hermione couldn't believe her ears, anger becoming evident in her facial features.

"What? You told her before you told me? Am I not capable enough to deal with such a situation?"

"N-no, of course you are! I just thought Molly would be better dealing with it, she is his mum-"

"Yes but if you haven't realised, Ron is an adult, he doesn't need to be mollycoddled by his own mother!"

"Well judging by his behaviour it might be best for him. I just thought that Molly would have been able to deal with the situation a little better, she can be quite frightening as you know. She'll put him in his place".

"Which consequently makes me less able to deal with the situation. It's great to know how people feel about me. Thanks for stopping by Harry, I'd like you to leave now as I still have much work to do". Harry looked as if he was going to fire a rather heated retort back, but snapped his mouth shut. Without a word he rose from the chair and left.

She had lied about having work, but she was furious. Had he stayed much longer it could have become a very intense argument. Clearly Hermione was seen as inadequate in the shadow of Molly and despite the anger Hermione felt, she knew it was true. She was the only one who knew what Ron had truly been up to and had done absolutely nothing to stop him.

It added to how she had been feeling, further dampening her spirits. She knew she would get very little else done today with the way she had been feeling. She decided to leave early, grabbing her umbrella, leaving her desk in a mess. She slammed her door shut and walked off in a fury, catching a few glances. There was no way she would be going to supper with the Weasleys now, she was too angry and the atmosphere would be very tense. No, now she felt even more resolve to push through that letter to Snape.

She was truly beginning to realise how bizarre it seemed, so desperate to see this one man. The man who hadn't been given freedom after the war and was unlikely to have any sympathy for her in the current situation. But she didn't care, she just needed to see him, someone she could connect with.

As she apparated to the grounds of the Burrow, she could immediately hear Molly's shrill voice yelling. She simply couldn't cope with it. Completely averting the Burrow, she headed to her house to begin formulating her letter.

_Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured._

Thousands of miles away, a hooded figure walks down a dimly lit corridor. His wrists gently twist as if they are nervous. Turning a corner, the figure comes up to a deep purple intricately engraved door, and knocks twice, pausing for three seconds and knocking another four times. A quiet hissing noise comes from inside and the figure reaches into their pocket, taking a small metal plate in the shape of a pigs head, placing it in a hole of the same shape at the side of the door. An unlocking sound echoes through the corridor, and the figure reaches for the doorknob. Their heavily tattooed hand turned the knob, entered and closed the door. The lock sounds again, and silence takes over the corridor.

A/N: Second chapter! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. Hopefully things will begin to get a little exciting soon, as it seems there is much going on in the wizarding world! Unfortunately, I am going camping for a week and so no update will be provided for that week, sorry :-(. I should have one up quickly after my return however, so I hope you'll stick around to see it!

I also have a little trivia question for you: In the end paragraph there is a reference to a pig's head; does anyone care to venture a guess where this appears in a similar context? By context I mean in terms of how it could be seen as symbolic as evil. Even this early on I've tried to make it clear that this mysterious hooded figure isn't exactly a good Samaritan. Leave any guesses in the reviews, or give yourself a pat on the back if you get it correct when I reveal the answer in the next chapter. See you soon!


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